Living Electronicless in an Electronic Age

Hello my name is Hannah and I am addicted to electronics. I am old enough to remember when there were no real computers and young enough to be "tech savvy".

I have an addiction to electronics, specifically my blackberry or crackberry. Until my crackberry broke last week and I lost everything (phone numbers, email, appointments, everything). I seriously panicked.. oh and I know what you are thinking.. didn't you back up? Probably a few months ago but that was not the real problem.

The real problem is that I felt disconnected from the world, I could not call a friend to even tell them what happened! I realized that while I was at stop lights, I would look at my phone to read the "mini facebook" or text message or see if anyone missed me enough to email me.

I needed to have this crackberry in my hands while I shopped just in case something funny happened. Until it was gone, I never realized how addicted I really was. I mean what did I do in the car before I had a crackberry?

What has become apparent is how much I am disconnected from the present moment. I can not be in the present moment if I am constantly checking my crackberry. I am always wondering and waiting to read what will come next; the next email, the next call, the next facebook status, the next, the next, the next...

I am always looking for a stimulus, always looking external; I have been using this electronic device to keep me from myself. Myself which needs some attention. It is almost as if this device ran me instead of me running the device.

I am on day 4 of no crackberry and I am not even close to being in the present moment but it is slowly coming into my conscious awareness. I have been contemplating living without one until the new year, almost as an experiment.

Just thinking about that makes my heart and hands tremble... apparently I need more crackberry rehab. Not to mention without a crackberry I have absolutely no phone... who knows could be a freeing experience. At least I have my laptop!

Stay tuned...