P.S.A
Public Service Announcement
I dedicate this post to Rosa, because if it was not for her, I would never have "blogged" this. She showed me what "BEAUTY" really is.
I have not felt beautiful in a long time. In the past 2 weeks I have worn every hat I owned, covering my hair and face. It has taken every muscle in my body just to get up in the morning and have that shower.
Last Saturday I had a session with Theresa Crann, emotionally I had a rough week and was going through some healing from past memories connected to cancer and old relationships. (Theresa was AWESOME!)
She said the following:
"Hannah you are a beautiful goddess. A powerful woman who is meant to share her story in a beautiful way. You are a speaker and your words can heal. You are beautiful."
I cried and cried. I have never felt less beautiful in my life. I hate my body, my hair, my stomach and the bottom of my feet. I absolutely hate the bottom of my feet!
A few days later while I continued to feel sad and depressed, a friend of mine popped his head in my office and said "Hello Beautiful". Now these are not words he uses with me and as I sat there hiding underneath of my hat, my heart dropped and I felt a release.
What is beauty?
The next day, wearing yet another hat, I ran into 2 friends outside my office and he greeted me with "Good morning beautiful" and gave me a great big hug.
Again, I am never greeted with this, why now?
I walked into my office to an email from someone I had only met twice, an entrepreneur herself, Rhonda Wilson, she was asking a business question but her email subject line read "Good Morning Beautiful".
Well now this has happened in so many odd ways that I had to pay attention.... but I didn't, I just did not feel I was beautiful. Come on, I did not even shower or have make up on - how could I be beautiful?
I went to the post office to pick up a package, not knowing what I was picking up, I was very surprised when Theresa Crann had sent me a recording of our session from last Saturday. Included in the package was an audio CD called "The Art of Extreme Self Care" by Cheryl Richardson.
Written on the CD she had recorded from our session together it read: "For Hannah, the Beautiful Goddess:)".
I turned on the car and in that exact same moment as I was starring at the CD, the song on the radio was "Beautiful" by Kardinal Offishall, Akon & Colby O'Donis.
Wow all my walls came tumbling down, why was this word "haunting" me. It occurred to me that my definition of beautiful must be wrong.
I feel that beautiful is purely an external thing. We are fed so many things from the media sources around us. My frame and body type is not the ones I see around me. It is why I was so shocked when these people were telling me I was beautiful. Instead of receive it, I wrote it off as if they were the crazy ones!
If you know me, I love to look up definitions of words. So that is what I did and here is what I found:
Beautiful: having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind.
What struck me was "having qualities.... to see, hear, think.. delighting the senses or mind"... Wow it involves all the senses, it is a much deeper word than I imagined. I sat with this image, looking at beauty in a new way.
At the time I was moving through some very ugly emotions, some deep dark secrets that I had repressed for so long. I began to realize that I was moving through them and seeing the other side. What these people were seeing was the other side. The beauty of healing. They have only ever seen the beauty in me, my higher self.
I also know that these people were brought to me to ensure that I redefine my definition of beautiful.
I woke up this morning, owning my beauty on the inside a little more. I want to embrace the beauty... not reject it. Each day that will look different; meditation, singing, dancing, lipstick, a beautiful dress, standing in my power, sharing a hug, laughing.. enjoying the moment... now that is BEAUTY.
My friend, Rosa, had the final push to ensure I write this post:
"beauty isn't always about physical features, you know that...and you are a beautiful person....and if you write about that, it may allow others to remember that there is beauty in them too...despite the split ends or dimply butt....and once people remember that, they become more externally beautiful as well. Now you have to...as a PSA to people everywhere to remember what they already know, but may forget."
Thank you Rosa, you are a beautiful person, inside and out. I want all of us to remember what true beauty is.... What does it mean to you? We all hold this inside of ourselves and we need to remind one of another of the beauty we see on all levels.
Now go tell somebody :).
I dedicate this post to Rosa, because if it was not for her, I would never have "blogged" this. She showed me what "BEAUTY" really is.
I have not felt beautiful in a long time. In the past 2 weeks I have worn every hat I owned, covering my hair and face. It has taken every muscle in my body just to get up in the morning and have that shower.
Last Saturday I had a session with Theresa Crann, emotionally I had a rough week and was going through some healing from past memories connected to cancer and old relationships. (Theresa was AWESOME!)
She said the following:
"Hannah you are a beautiful goddess. A powerful woman who is meant to share her story in a beautiful way. You are a speaker and your words can heal. You are beautiful."
I cried and cried. I have never felt less beautiful in my life. I hate my body, my hair, my stomach and the bottom of my feet. I absolutely hate the bottom of my feet!
A few days later while I continued to feel sad and depressed, a friend of mine popped his head in my office and said "Hello Beautiful". Now these are not words he uses with me and as I sat there hiding underneath of my hat, my heart dropped and I felt a release.
What is beauty?
The next day, wearing yet another hat, I ran into 2 friends outside my office and he greeted me with "Good morning beautiful" and gave me a great big hug.
Again, I am never greeted with this, why now?
I walked into my office to an email from someone I had only met twice, an entrepreneur herself, Rhonda Wilson, she was asking a business question but her email subject line read "Good Morning Beautiful".
Well now this has happened in so many odd ways that I had to pay attention.... but I didn't, I just did not feel I was beautiful. Come on, I did not even shower or have make up on - how could I be beautiful?
I went to the post office to pick up a package, not knowing what I was picking up, I was very surprised when Theresa Crann had sent me a recording of our session from last Saturday. Included in the package was an audio CD called "The Art of Extreme Self Care" by Cheryl Richardson.
Written on the CD she had recorded from our session together it read: "For Hannah, the Beautiful Goddess:)".
I turned on the car and in that exact same moment as I was starring at the CD, the song on the radio was "Beautiful" by Kardinal Offishall, Akon & Colby O'Donis.
Wow all my walls came tumbling down, why was this word "haunting" me. It occurred to me that my definition of beautiful must be wrong.
I feel that beautiful is purely an external thing. We are fed so many things from the media sources around us. My frame and body type is not the ones I see around me. It is why I was so shocked when these people were telling me I was beautiful. Instead of receive it, I wrote it off as if they were the crazy ones!
If you know me, I love to look up definitions of words. So that is what I did and here is what I found:
Beautiful: having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about, etc.; delighting the senses or mind.
What struck me was "having qualities.... to see, hear, think.. delighting the senses or mind"... Wow it involves all the senses, it is a much deeper word than I imagined. I sat with this image, looking at beauty in a new way.
At the time I was moving through some very ugly emotions, some deep dark secrets that I had repressed for so long. I began to realize that I was moving through them and seeing the other side. What these people were seeing was the other side. The beauty of healing. They have only ever seen the beauty in me, my higher self.
I also know that these people were brought to me to ensure that I redefine my definition of beautiful.
I woke up this morning, owning my beauty on the inside a little more. I want to embrace the beauty... not reject it. Each day that will look different; meditation, singing, dancing, lipstick, a beautiful dress, standing in my power, sharing a hug, laughing.. enjoying the moment... now that is BEAUTY.
My friend, Rosa, had the final push to ensure I write this post:
"beauty isn't always about physical features, you know that...and you are a beautiful person....and if you write about that, it may allow others to remember that there is beauty in them too...despite the split ends or dimply butt....and once people remember that, they become more externally beautiful as well. Now you have to...as a PSA to people everywhere to remember what they already know, but may forget."
Thank you Rosa, you are a beautiful person, inside and out. I want all of us to remember what true beauty is.... What does it mean to you? We all hold this inside of ourselves and we need to remind one of another of the beauty we see on all levels.
Now go tell somebody :).
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4 comments:
What a powerful post! Hannah, you're so beautiful! Looking at you, I would've never in a million years thought that you would think of yourself that way.
You bring joy and hope into people's lives, and to me, that's more beautiful than anything else in the world!
My friends and I are doing a transformation challange right now, perhaps you should join us! I too was where you were! These past few weeks has challenged to not just change myself physically but also emotionally. Check out www.transformation.com
Hope you'll join us!
-Carly
Ms. Hannah... What an absolutely amazing post! I can tell you that the moment I met you I was awe struck with all of your beauty and all of the amazing gifts you carry with that. So much so that even tho we only had a couple of days together I have always kept you close in my heart..you inspire everyone around you for all you do and have done.. I know you were not looking for any more validation as you are seeking that within you...but know that I validate you..and stand in awe of this term beauty that you possess.. <3 ya sista...
Robyn
mmm, you are beautiful Hannah...you always have been! What little I've seen of your adult self shows a women who grows more beautiful in every way! Sheesh women, celebrate it...I am always looking at you pic's on FB thinking wow!!
I recently came across this great website that re-examines physical beauty...that celebrates the female form in all of her diversity...through our evolution though the many changes life brings us. http://theshapeofamother.com/
xo
Jenn
You are always beautiful in my eyes Hannah. Inside and out. I think it's about time you realize it for yourself. You are truly an amazing person.
The definition of beauty is different for each individual, But for sure it is NOT what the media makes us believe what it should be. Even those that make it to the front cover of one of those magazines needs to be photo shopped like crazy to fit that ideal image.
As long as we feel beautiful and good about ourselves inside it will show externally to how well we take care of ourselves and our relationships.
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